and friends or family members cohabitating
together.
With the cost of living
continually rising coupled
with juggling work and
family responsibilities, the
challenges for single parents
to make ends meet can be
quite overwhelming given
the countless adjustments
that must be made.
Refiguring finances,
delegating household
chores, acting as the sole
disciplinarian, adjusting to
your feelings of loss, helping your children
cope with their loss, and finding the energy
and time to spend with your children are
merely some of the pressures faced by
single parent families.
The goal of this newsletter is to provide
single parents with helpful tips and
(Continued on page 2)
We often hear parenting referred to as “the
most difficult job there is.” But all too many
parents are now taking on
this role alone. In 2004,
23% of children lived
with only their mothers,
5% lived with only their
fathers, and 4% lived with
neither of their parents
(Forum on Child and
Family Statistics,
America’s Children: Key
National Indicators of
Well-Being, 2005).
Whether by separation,
divorce, or death, single parent families have
persevered throughout history and are
comprised of various forms. Single parent
family situations may also include persons
who have never married, women who may be
nearing the end of their “childbearing years”
and/or are established in their careers and
decide deliberately to have children without a
partner, persons in partnered relationships,
…………...the link between the need and the solution
FOR Families is a community service offered through the City of Irvine for those who live or work in Irvine.
City of Irvine . 949 724-6650 . Community Services
Life as a Single Parent:
Finding a Healthy Balance
SUMMER 2006
Newsletter
Community Services
Summer Class Offerings
Where to Turn
for Assistance
3
Fun Facts About 35
Famous Single Parents or
Raised by Single Parents
5
About FOR Families 6
By Deborah Brunn, MS, MFT
Manager of the FOR Families Program
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
…….Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
(when age-appropriate) to help out
around the house with making their
beds, placing their dirty clothes in the
hamper, doing the dishes, or vacuuming.
Give them encouragement and praises
for helping to set a positive tone.
• Develop a Budget: Having to
reorganize finances is one of the most
strenuous issues that single parents are
forced to confront. List your immediate
needs and then create a budget on your
own, or locate free or low-cost
assistance from a credible community
resource.
• Seek Out and Utilize Community
Resources: Many agencies offer
assistance such as support groups,
financial aid, counseling services, or
low-cost child care. Review the list of
“Where to Turn in the Community for
Help and Support” in this newsletter, or
contact the staff at FOR Families for a
personal consultation.
• Work Towards Acceptance: This can
be one of the most difficult steps, but be
sure to acknowledge and cope with
feelings of devastation, depression, and
grief. Talk with those whom you trust
and consider consulting a medical or
counseling professional for assistance.
• Spend Quality Time With Your
Children: Read to your kids before
tucking them in; set aside time to play a
board game or create an art project;
make time to take them to the park,
beach, or zoo for family fun time.
(Continued on page 4)
LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT
(Continued from page 1)
FOR Families Page 2
resources available in the community that may
help individuals regain a healthy balance between
work and family responsibilities, and to ease the
burden of emotional and economic adversity.
Additionally, the strength developed by single
parents will be recognized and accentuated given
the extraordinary responsibility single parenting
entails.
Consider the following suggestions for instilling a
healthy balance in your life:
• Build a Strong Network
of Support: Encourage
yourself to make time for
family and friends; seek
spiritual guidance at a
local place of worship,
attend a support group,
and/or find professional
assistance if needed.
Contact FOR Families
staff for confidential
assistance with support
groups or therapist
referrals.
• Accept Help and Ask for Help: Remember
that you are only one person. As difficult as it
may be to reach out to others, take advantage
when family or friends offer to lend a hand.
• Find Time to Relax. You Deserve a Break,
Too: Once the children are in bed, take some
quiet time for yourself, even if for only 15-30
minutes before going to bed. Watch a favorite
television program, review your e-mails, play
your favorite music, or chat with a good
friend.
• Rearrange Household Chores: Use your
creativity in balancing life’s daily tasks.
Develop a schedule and encourage children
Navigating the Teenage Years
Are you frustrated with increasing conflict and deterio-
rating communication with your teenager? Parents will
learn a new approach to resolving problems, how feel-
ings and interactions influence communication, and
how to recognize pitfalls and workable alternatives.
Inst: Debra Solseng, MFT, RPT-S and
Blair M. Roberts, LCSW.
Location: Rancho Senior Center
#38704 W 7pm-8:30pm Aug 9-23 $50
Teaching Character
How do you teach children and teens to be attentive,
obedient, truthful and grateful? How do you develop
character qualities like orderliness, diligence, responsi-
bility, patience and initiative? Learn how to enhance
the development of character qualities that will open
doors of opportunity and leadership for them. Be proac-
tive and effective in teaching your child 49 life empow-
ering character qualities. Inst. Leo Lozano, LifeLegacy
Character Institute.
Location: Lakeview Senior Center
#39001 M 6:30pm-9:30pm Jun 19-26 $40/person
#39002 M 6:30pm-9:30pm Jun 19-26 $58/couple
COMMUNITY SERVICES
Summer Class Offerings
Parenting
To register or to find information on additional
classes offered through
the City of Irvine go to:
www.IrvineQuickReg
.org
Or call
Program Registration
(949) 724-6610
Families Forward
(949) 552-2727
Transitional housing, food & personal care items
prevention program— by appointment only
O.C. Social Services Agency
(714) 435-5800
CalWORKs, Welfare-to-Work, Food Stamps,
Refugee Cash Assistance, MediCal
O.C. Child Support
(714) 541-7600
Family Support Division
Consumer Credit Counseling Service
(714) 547-2227
Free budget & credit counseling; educational
classes for adults experiencing financial
difficulty with debt or credit
Parents Without Partners (PWP)
(800) 969-4797
Recorded message gives information on group,
family and individual activities for parents who
are divorced, widowed, or separated
Irvine Family Resource Center
(949) 936-7950
Free or low cost family and student counseling
services for families whose children are enrolled
in the Irvine Unified School District
Parents’ Morning
(949) 724-6638
Provides educational and networking opportuni-
ties for parents through monthly meetings
School Readiness Program (IUSD)
(949) 936-5870
Providing parent and parent/child education
services for families with children 0-5 years
City of Irvine Child Care
Coordination Office
(949) 724-6632
Provides a variety of services designed to en-
hance and maintain the quality of child care in
the community; child care resources
Where to Turn
for Assistance
Page 3
FOR Families
FOR Families Page 4
About the newsletter author:
Debbie Brunn, FOR Families Program Specialist, graduated with her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Social
Ecology from UC Irvine and with her Master of Science Degree in Counseling from Cal State Fullerton.
She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist experienced in counseling children, chronically mentally
ill adults, and providing professional consultations to persons with dementia and their families. Debbie
currently resides with her husband in Irvine and has been a resident since 1971.
Debbie may be
contacted by phone at (949) 724-6650 or via e-mail at [email protected]s.
• Do Not Expect to Be the Perfect Parent:
There is no such thing! There is enough
stress in taking care of the children, the
household, and balancing work
responsibilities. Try not to overwhelm
yourself by striving to become a
“superhero”... you already are.
In light of all of the stressors
single parents experience,
there are opportunities for
rewards. Single parents are
provided the ability to bond
closely with their children by
creating special memories
that are just between them,
and are able to teach their
children effective coping
skills when faced with difficult times.
Single parents may feel a strong sense of
pride in knowing they taught their children the
importance of values. Through their example,
they are able to model standards such as
responsibility, patience, frugality, teamwork,
diligence, and organization which can
undoubtedly serve as a benefit for their
children well into adulthood.
Adjustment to single parenting may seem
insurmountable at times, but we cannot forget
LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT
(Continued from page 2)
References:
Forum on Child & Family Statistics (2005).
America’s Children
: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. www.childstats.gov
about the remarkable strength that
materializes when you are responsible for
handling so much change. Single parents
have the incredible ability to manage or
delegate multiple tasks alone such as
housekeeping, making lunches for the
kids, transporting them to and from
school, attending children’s recreational
activities, job pressures, cooking dinner,
budgeting finances, etc. A sense
of satisfaction ensues when a
single parent realizes the amount
of stress that has been carried
and has learned to utilize
various coping skills to manage
life’s ongoing demands.
Despite the times when feeling
alone, overwhelmed, frightened, and
exhausted throughout the process, single
parenting is an art that is learned through
acceptance, perseverance, and dedication
to yourself and to your children. Believe
in your ability to embrace the ongoing
challenges that are presented, keep
focused on your values, and relish in the
strength you created in yourself and your
children by knowing you have tackled
and continue to conquer what seemed at
one time to be unbearable.
“Whether by separation,
divorce, or death, single
parent families have
persevered throughout
history…”
Answers to identify the pictures on Page 5—left to right: Clara Foltz, Mary Kay Ash, Ellen Ochoa, Sir
Isaac Newton, Robert Frost, General Robert E. Lee, and Marie (Madam) Curie
Page 5
FOR Families
In celebration of Irvine’s 35 years as a City, here
are some fun facts about 35 famous people who are currently or were
single parents, or raised by single parents:
(Can you identify the following pictures...
answers on page 4)
18. Alan Greenspan, economist, former Chairman of
the Federal Reserve, originally wanted to be a
musician
19. Queen Latifah, actress, singer, worked at a Burger
King
20. Sir Isaac Newton, physicist/mathematician, born
on Christmas 3 months after his father died
21. Rickey Henderson, baseball player has played for
Oakland Athletics, Yankees, Padres, Angels,
Dodgers, etc.
22. Bill Clinton, 42
nd
President, was 32 when he
became the Governor of Arkansas
23. Ed Bradley, CBS news correspondent,
60 Minutes fame, was wounded in Cambodia in
1973
24. Robert Frost, poet, famous poem “A Road Not
Taken;” his father died when he was only 11
25. Cary Grant, actor, born Archibald Alexander
Leach in England
26. Rutherford B. Hayes, 19
th
President, had the first
telephone installed in the White House
27. Mother Theresa, nun—her father died when she
was 9 years old
28. Elvis Presley, entertainer, poured Log Cabin
syrup on everything he ate
29. Andrew Johnson, 17
th
President, did not learn to
read until he was 17 years old
30. Audrey Hepburn, actress—born in Belgium in
1929 and had her first child in 1970
31. Oprah, TV personality, actress, most highly paid
entertainer according to Forbes
32. Princess Diana, Princess of Wales—was a good
ballet dancer
33. Ingrid Bergman, Academy Award winning film
actress, turned down a starring role in “The
Miracle Worker”
34. Pierce Bronson, film actor, “007” fame was born
in Drogheda, Ireland
35. John Hancock, American statesman, first and
only signer of Declaration of Independence on
July 4, 1776
1. Betsy Ross, maker of the first American flag, did
tailoring for George Washington
2. Diane Keaton, actress, is restoring a 1920’s home in
Laguna Beach
3. Marie (Madam) Curie, 2 time Nobel Prize winner
developed radium
4. Katie Couric, newscaster, one of her all time favorite
books is “To Kill a Mockingbird”
5. Williamina Fleming, during her lifetime she was the
most famous American woman astronomer
6. George Lucas, Star Wars director—the numbers
1138 can be found in nearly all Lucas movies
7. Erin Brockavich—instrumental in constructing a
class action case that was awarded the largest
settlement in US History
8. Barbra Streisand, singer, actress, director. Once
dated former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre
Trudeau
9. Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. Her
magic formula was—“Everyone is important!”
10. Cleopatra, 70 -30 BC, female leader of Egypt took
the throne at 18 years old
11. Clara Foltz, first woman to practice law in
California; her husband left her with 4 children and 1
child on the way
12. J.K. Rowling, author—Harry Potter—she hates
spiders and doesn’t read fiction
13. Barbara Walters, broadcaster—journalist, once
worked undercover as a Playboy Bunny
14. Wilma Rudolph, 1976 Innsbruck Olympic Gold
Medal winner—track—one of 22 children
15. Ellen Ochoa, first Hispanic woman astronaut,
majored in physics SDU, enjoys playing the flute
16. James Garfield, 20
th
President, could write with both
hands
17. General Robert E. Lee, was offered the opportunity
to command either side during the Civil War
Single Parents
Raised by Single Parent
About FOR Families
The FOR Families Program provides short-term support and information to families and individuals
living or working in Irvine who need assistance identifying and accessing needed services and resources.
The FOR Families staff offers free, confidential consultations to determine community members’
needs and develop action plans to help meet those needs.
Some of the issues FOR Families addresses include:
●relationship difficulties ●parenting issues
●separation and divorce ●stress and depression
●substance abuse concerns ●financial and legal issues
FOR Families will assist with creative problem-solving, resource linkage, and referrals for counseling.
Hours: 9-5 Monday - Thursday and alternate Fridays
Phone: (949) 724-6650
Fax (949) 724-6608
www.irvineforfamilies.org
1 Civic Center Plaza, 2nd Floor
P.O. Box 19575
Irvine, CA 92623-9575
FOR Families
1 Civic Center Plaza
P.O. Box 19575
Irvine, CA 92623-9575
Address Correction Requested
PRESORTED STD.
U.S. POSTAGE
P A I D
SANTA ANA CA
PERMIT NO. 559
